Well, I did not ...rather could not manage to get up or restart my exercises. Am waiting for the opportune moment. On another and positive note, I got my ears pierced again. There are things to be discovered...like Having more cartilage in the ear, I am unable to get the outer shell pierced.It seems some lucky people can go around looking like a display case for earrings while I have to be happy with only two. The funny part was the girl at the shop kept on insisting that I have bones in my ear. It appears she has never heard of the term cartilage .

On the bad note, though..this piercing led to a lot of problems. There was pain in my left ear and I accidentally told somethings that I shouldn't have to my father--which led to the usual drama and now my jaw hurts. As the time progresses for my new job, he is getting more insecure and his insane streak is becoming more apparent. He got frighteningly violent yesterday.. attacked both my mom and me over and over again...his language gets worse by the second and we are in tears. As son as we cry, he calms down. As long as I was calm, he kept on at it. He wants to break both my mother and me many times over. He appears to get some weird satisfaction out of reminding us who is paying our bills and providing for us . All my childhood and now, I have seen this happening over and over again and I feel so insecure. Like yesterday, when my cell's battery died down and it was 7.30 pm, I was sure my dad would make trouble over it ( and he did) . So I tried to call up and nobody picked up the phone and the first thought was he was hurting her somehow and she had retreated to her room and my imagination just spiralled down from there. I never have any peace when he is around . What kid of a relationship is it where every moment of the day, you have to wonder whether your mom is safe or you have to remember to select your words and modulate your speech in front of your father ? How can I be expected to love him after all this ? He never considers my feelings even once. And after these bouts, the only consolation for me is that he is exceptionally generous with money. He feels guilty somehow, I guess.
This has gone on for so long to the point that I begin to think this is a normal occurrence and that is scary. I don't react much to his screaming and shouting and that I think riles him off. The fact that he can't make me care. My mother ,he breaks easily enough without much effort . She cries very easily nowadays and who can blame her. This was worse before I came along and now she is old . That's why, my job means a lot to me. The reason why I am posting this online is because, while nobody reads my diaries, it is unsafe to write about my father on paper. If he discovers this , there will be hell to pay. Funny part is that he should be doing the paying. Secondly, I don't want to forget this. This ought to be my motivation to do better. I am scared at how normal I have begun to think this to be. Yesterday, I felt so alone again. I wish I had someone to guide me through all this. Like an invisible guide. Even as I type this, I have difficulty recalling all the details. Sometimes I forget and sometimes I ignore.
Yesterday, as I sat thinking about this, I was thinking that maybe once I settled down ,I would break off all contacts with my father. He really hasn't done much to make me grateful . Then another thought...Would I be able to live with this on my conscience if he died, alone and uncared for ? I really really do not know.

My first blogpost.

This has been a long time in coming. Actually , I had one blog before this...comprising of a grand total of ......1 POST. I hope this does not happen this time too. As I understand, this is like an online rave/rant diary for people to read . There are positives too. I have read about both the positive side and the negative side of blogging. A new term for the new generation ? Whatever it is for other people ( self help, other help, boss-is-bad ), for me , it is first and foremost a project to write more instead of reading so much. A way to improve my writing skills. Also , as I understand it, a great excuse to give your friends weird nicknames an generally create mayhem.

Now, its 1.52 am. My first post of the day.

I need to get sleep. 5 to 6 hours a day is not enough. Contrary to what Sir says about sleeping 4 hours a day because work can be interesting, I know we need more sleep. What hampers my sleep is the schedule. The net connection is free from 10 to 8 (overnight). In order to take advantage of that fact, I stay awake till at least 2 and today it might be 3. I wake up around 8 or 9. That makes for 6 hours. And comprises of my total rest period for the day. As of tomorrow ,rather today, I will get up at 6 to go walking and maybe stair climbing. This is because the sun is rather in it's element and insists on scorching things around and is very successful at inducing the beached whale syndrome in me. Walking , as we all know, is necessary to have a limber and a minimally active body. Besides this, I wish to start meditating again. But, one at a time. Also, as a reminder, BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE. And drink lime juice and study C++.

Whether or not, I manages to do all this, I shall post tomorrow.
Well, that's that. See you tomorrow, Ree.

As an additional, when I gave this for spellcheck, the possible words against limejuice was limerick. Hmmmm.